Still trying to figure that out for sure, it is very difficult to move on when you were happy even if the person who decided to end the relationship stops caring and possibly went about ending it in a very hurtful way. You still think about the memories and the good times. I’ve realized what kind of person I am for sure after this, I always thought I was negative and angry, but with the consistent thoughts of good times and experiences shared, I have realized I am actually an optimistic person. Good to know for later, I suppose. Either way, it is hard to move on, I’ve read articles many say it can take half the time you were in the relationship so that’s funnn, but here are some steps to actively avoid sadness and find ways to forget him and move on.
- Reconnect with old friends and all of your friends – Sometimes when you re in a relationship you prefer to spend lots of alone time with the one you love. Makes sense. But you can fall out of touch with friends, decide to stay in instead of going to parties. Fortunately, when that person breaks your heart and you’re back to the drawing board it gives you a chance to party again. It may be weird at first, you may be scared and think maybe your friends don’t need you anymore but don’t think that, they’re going to be happy to have you back. They’re your friends for a reason and you are there friends for a reason too, if the tables were turned you would be there for them no doubt and here they are for you. Call some old friends, do some silly stuff, it may turn out you’re not the only one feeling alone and fun activities may actually help both of you.
- Be Active – Go outside, go to the gym, just dive into fitness again. Sometimes when you become a couple you do cute shit like hikes but tend to become lazy, decide to go out to eat a lot, skip work outs, well now that you’re single again there is no excuse. Exercising releases endorphins, boosts your mood, and you look great after. Sure you may still be sad on the inside, but look like you’re winning this breakup by getting fit while he just probably drinks beer and hangs with his pals, it’ll show people you’re better off without him and eventually you’ll realize the same.
- Force yourself to Date – You may not want to, it may be too soon, but sometimes tinder oddly does help. Even if you think they may not work and even if they don’t, it’s still nice to go out and meet a guy who may be interested in you just to make you remember hey there’s other guys out there that can care, there’s other guys out there that may be better and are interested in you. Just because this ended does not mean you will have to be alone and even if it takes a few months or more to find someone else at least you’re trying, at least you’re meeting people. Doesn’t hurt to try and who knows maybe they’re in the same boat as you.
- Focus Your Thoughts Elsewhere – It can be hard at the end of the night right before you go to bed to not think about those memories, but you need to force yourself. You need to realize you were alone before and you can do it again, you survived, it’s not the end of the world, people have dealt with much, much worse. So whenever you think about those memories or thoughts just push them out, focus your thoughts elsewhere. Reading a book before bedtime can help and work wonders, disappear in that world instead of disappearing into the past. Watch television, color in a coloring book, draw, knit, or even write — do NOT write about him or the past, that is wasting your time and energy, write about your day, keep a journal, or a funny story. Who knows you may find new talents because of this ending.
- Stay Positive – Sure this was a bad thing that happened but look at what you have, focus on the good. Do you have a job? Friends? A home? Yes! Some people don’t have any of that. Be grateful for what you have, be grateful for that ending it could have gotten worse. You could argue that he loved you and cared but if he did he wouldn’t have done that, right? Fate is a funny thing. It takes you on different roads as a test sometimes even if it’s not the right one. You experienced that, great, but hey he wasn’t right for you, if he was he would have acted differently. You have other people that care, you are still standing, you are better off. Be positive, be strong, be busy, and a better person will turn up eventually.
State of Motion 