Sometimes life doesn’t go your way, it’s all about finding that balance of searching for happiness and being content but also being productive and working towards your goals.
Right now let’s just say I am not the happiest. A lot of moments in life leave you feeling kind of alone and “What’s the point?” but you have to find that point you have to find that reason why you’re doing what you’re doing. You have to realize that there’s still time left.
I am a very stubborn person that, even though I don’t like to admit it, is very much lead with my emotions and even when I’m told to do something like move on and stuff I won’t because it feels better to do the other thing even though it’s wrong and even though it might make me feel worse after. I also lack patience and when people say “it’ll take time” I just don’t want to wait. I want to fix something that others will argue is unfixable or broken. Maybe because me being stubborn but also maybe because I hate quitting. I am not a quitter.
Sometimes you have to realize though quitting something isn’t a bad thing. Sometimes you just have to let go of things you love to make them better. There’s a reason you can’t do everything. To be super hippy dippy, there’s a reason flowers grow and are pretty and it has nothing to do with you, you know? Things exist and can be great without you. The problem is when you find that something and you think it’s great and it ends. Maybe you did not want it to end but sometimes you don’t have a choice.
Ultimately, with life sometimes you are not in control of making decisions and sometimes things end or things change even though you don’t want them to. The only thing you can do is focus on yourself and what you can control and the decisions you can make to make your life better. You can argue your life is not as good now because someone made a decision that you didn’t want, guess what? There’s nothing you can do about it. You can’t go back in time, you can’t fix something if someone else doesn’t want to. The hardest thing is knowing what you know and how it will not help anything. No matter how hard you try no matter what you can do if something or someone doesn’t want what you want anymore you can’t push it. Magic isn’t real. You can’t wave a wand over problems and make them okay.
What can you do? Plan for the future. Plan on getting happy again or make decisions that you know will make you happy or at least busy enough where you’re not focused on being sad. Focus on the good, because I know it can be hard to find sometimes but good is out there. You might be feeling dark and not needed but believe me you are wanted and people like being around you, just be around again. Keep yourself busy, focus on work and accomplishing goals. When you focus on other things your brain becomes too busy for sad.
Life is tricky and whenever you think it’s going well it throws a wrench in your plans and you have to start from square one again. You can learn from those wrenches and get better or you can waste your time and cry about it. It might be a while for things to change and go back to you being content and happy but that doesn’t mean you won’t get there again. Time is the worst and the best because whenever you’re having fun you zoom through it but when you’re miserable it’s like walking through mud — takes forever, but it’s always there and in an odd way it will always help.
Also remember that the time wasn’t wasted. You may feel like it was now but eventually you’ll look back, appreciate the memories and events, and see that you’ve grown from it. Once again, it’s just that time thing that might take forever, but it’ll be okay.
State of Motion 